The Back-up Plan: Becoming a Single Mother
Yesterday I saw the movie, ‘The Back-up Plan’ which just opened in NY. Jennifer Lopez was luminous in it. Ironically she looked great after having her own kids in real life. The movie itself wasn’t great but it was enjoyable and it covered some important issues. In it, the main character Zoe decides that she has not met the man of her dreams and she wants to have a baby, so she embarks on her back up plan and decides to become inseminated and become a single mom. She goes through with the insemination process and through an ironic twist of fate, on that same day she meets the guy that she wants to spend her life with. After one date with him she discovers that the insemination worked and that she is pregnant! Of course she then has to break the news to him and she expects him to run but he says that wants to keep dating her. I don’t want to give the whole movie away but let’s just say that the film then covers their journey together throughout Zoe’s pregnancy!
The film was funny and cute and it highlighted that a wonderful, successful woman could approach motherhood alone. In the start of the film Zoe joins a ‘single mother and proud’ group where she gets the support of other single moms. We see one mom give birth within a circle of support of her women friends. So this does briefly illustrate that option. And although the romantic Hollywood element of Zoe unexpectedly finding love is positive, I wish that there was finally a movie where the heroine ends up alone and happy. I say this because similarly in the movie ‘Baby Mama’ the heroine changes direction from single motherhood and ends up in love and embracing partnership at the last minute. This almost seems to say to the public that this is the only way to be happy and to start a family. While that is one sort of happy ending, it is not the only one. I think it would be great if there was a movie that represented single moms and their journey; one that did not end up with the requisite Hollywood ending.
Having said this, this film showed some funny details about pregnancy, it demonstrated how men often panic when becoming dads and it showed how life is often unexpected and things happen out of order and in their own time. Although Zoe was a planner, she could not plan when she would meet her dream man or how and when she would marry. This is a point to which many of us can relate in different ways in our lives.
In one of my other blogs I discussed the issue of the biological clock for some single women and how challenging it can be. Today I see many more women who are considering freezing their eggs or becoming single moms and this can be pricey and scary. I also see more women settling down in a relationship later and having to go through various medical interventions including IUI and invitro. It is great that as women we have more options to become mothers these days but it is still something we are figuring out so it would be great if it was represented in our culture more through various art forms and media. I think it is important for people traveling this journey to feel recognition and belonging within the community.
Although this film only got 2.5 stars in the NY Times, I appreciated seeing it because it approached a somewhat new topic that affects single women today. If you do go and see it or you would like to comment on single motherhood or the many medical interventions used to become a mom today, please do so below. We’d love to know what you think!
My Best in Love,
Paulette
Author of ‘Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’
Related Links:
http://insidemovies.moviefone.com/2010/04/22/the-back-up-plan-movie-reviews/