Unconscious Mating

I was stumped for a blog idea today (this now being blog #189) so my friend suggested this topic. It was a good one that I had not considered. We cannot order up love from the universe and we often need to spend time waiting for what we want in life. So the best thing that we can do is to make ourselves and our lives as happy as we can in the interim while we continue to take action on our as not yet realized goals, even if there are stretches where we don’t seeing results. Of course this blog idea just applies to those of you who really want to meet someone and are frustrated. For those of you who relish being single, keep on doing what you are doing! So here are 5 ideas about what you can do in the meantime while your dream of manifesting a mate is incubating:
1. TREAT YOURSELF REALLY WELL: There is a whole section in my book, ‘Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ about giving yourself the love you want to attract. This means looking at how you speak to yourself, taking time to honor your needs and interests and passions and doing things you like for yourself. You can take the quiz in my book to see if you have been neglecting your relationship with yourself. The great news is: it’s never too late to start addressing it and this is your most definite life long relationship!

2. IMPROVE YOUR LIFE SATISFACTION IN ALL OTHER LIFE AREAS: I once wrote a blog about how to create a Life Wheel (see the link here: http://www.examiner.com/x-2473-NY-Love-Examiner~y2009m3d18-Is-There-a-Correlation-Between-Life-Satisfaction–Success-in-Love ) so that you can assess how happy you are in 8 life areas and make a concrete plan (with baby steps) to improve satisfaction in these areas. This is a win-win because you are using this time to make your life even better so that it brings you greater happiness AND it makes you that much more attractive to a mate when the right person comes along. So check out this assessment tool and see if you are inspired to improve your health, interpersonal relationships, finances etc.

3. DEVELOP A STRONG COMMUNITY OF PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU: We all want to be loved and appreciated and it’s easy to feel lonely during dry spells in our love lives. During this time it is important to remember that we are loveable and that we are important to many people. So look around at the love you do have in your life and celebrate those relationships. Metaphysicians say that what you focus on expands!

4. DO THINGS THAT YOU LOVE & RELISH YOUR INDEPENDENCE: I remember a fellow coach once told me to travel before I had kids. She recalled the difference between having a trip to Paris alone versus going to Paris with her kids when they were in the hotel by 7PM each night. The point is that ‘the grass is always greener’ to some extent. So imagining that you will one day have a partner and family if you want it, you can use this time to travel or take all the risks that you might be less likely to do easily once you have settled down. When you are single you have fewer responsibilities and limitations and your life is very much your own, so in this in-between time, figure out what adventures you can create for yourself and make the most of it!

5. KEEP TAKING ACTION ON WHAT YOU WANT EVEN IN THE DRY TIMES: This is one point that I stress in my book. I know that it gets exhausting and irritating to date at times but I don’t believe in sitting home in your pajamas and waiting for the bell to ring. You would not do that if you wanted a great job, you wanted to lose weight or score a book contract, so why do people do that when it comes to finding a mate? We are human and sometimes you may need to take a short break from focusing on dating but do not give up or just leave it up to the universe if it is something you really want. The key is to take continuous manageable steps to meet other singles, even when results are not popping up for a period of time. Keep your eye on the ball and do your part while you are living and enjoying your life. Sure, I wish that it would ‘just happen to you too’ and maybe it will but I would not want you to count on that if this is something you really want to manifest. So have compassion for yourself and take the results lightly but do continue to take action. There is a section in my book in how to do this.
Spring is a time of new beginnings and rebirth and single or not we are all always in a process of creation. One thing we do not notice about creation is that sometimes it happens beneath the surface first, like roots growing or bears in their hibernation period. So welcome this time of incubation to go inwards, reflect and grow new parts of yourself and your life. You will have more to share when you do meet that special someone!
My Best in Love,
Paulette
www.mydatingschool.com
Author of ‘Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ published by Atria Books. Link is here: http://www.amazon.com/Dating-Inside-Out-Attraction-Matters/dp/1582701946/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1233428205&sr=8-1