10 Reasons Why It’s Great to Date after 65:
Older singles often say that it is much harder to date at an older age because the dating pool is smaller, they are often not that tech-savvy and they eschew online dating, they’ve been out of practice with dating for awhile and feel that their expectations for appropriate decorum is different. They also complain that men want younger women. So these are some of the apparent fears and downsides. Are there any upsides to dating after 65?
This is what I am writing about today. In my opinion, most things do have an upside and we are most successful when we focus on ‘what is possible.’ So here are 10 reasons why it may be better to date after 65:
1. You Know Yourself: You have lived a long life and you know what you like and don’t like, you know your lifestyle preferences, your hobbies, community, social circle etc. You also know what you need in a partner and are aware of the many relationship lessons you have already learned.
2. You Appreciate Every Moment: When singles are young they often plan a lot and hold agendas. Whether it is a 5 year life plan, a biological clock or career ambitions, these goals keep us future-oriented, busy and tense. Once you have moved past a lot of these milestones you can be more present to appreciate what is and you can enjoy every day as it comes. This is a wonderful attitude to have in dating and relationships because it removes pressure and fosters a state of ease and wonder.
3. You Care Less About What Others Think: From high school and even through adulthood there is often a lot of social pressure to be like everyone else. This might mean getting married, having children, having a certain type of mate etc. Hopefully we move beyond this type of pressure and grow into our individuality sooner but often after 65 we finally develop a strong conviction in who you are. We stop apologizing for what we want and stop comparing with and competing with others. In this place you can cast a wider net in dating and meet someone you enjoy, regardless of what anyone else might think.
4. You Have A lot To Share: At this point you’ve had your career, a prior marriage, perhaps children and grandchildren, a house, hobbies, experiences etc. You may have traveled and you probably have had many peak moments. You are the full package, a person with wisdom, love and much to share. This can be very attractive to a partner who also wants a mate who is worldly.
5. You Have Plenty of Free Time: By 65 many people have achieved their career and family goals and now they have more time for fun, travel and relaxation. So dating and relationships can be great now because you can really appreciate companionship, travel and romance.
6. You have a Captive Target Audience: Retired people have a lot more time for relationships. They may go to the theater, travel, garden, volunteer, see family and friends, read etc. So once you figure out the best places to go –like online dating, senior centers, dances, trips etc. you will find that these singles are often available to do things and to get to know you.
7. Life is About You Now: At this point in your life you have probably been a spouse, parent and grandparent. You have been a daughter, worker, friend and neighbor and you are finally able to be a little more selfish. You recognize that life is short and you start focusing on doing the things that make you happy. This context will help you pick a partner who supports your passion and likewise wants to embrace you as you are.
8. You Look for what’s most Important in a Relationship: Often younger singles prioritize outside things in a partner that won’t really make them happy long-term. By this I mean things like a mate who is hugely financially successful, has amazing looks, a fancy car or who is very tall. Often as we age we recognize that while attraction is important, looks fade and money cannot buy you love. We realize that the simple deep things are what counts: someone to talk to, who will care for you when you are sick, someone who makes you laugh, cherishes you and is a great friend, lover and companion.
9. You Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Whereas young couples have a lot of power struggles as they are forging a relationship, it seems to me that older adults have already been through that. Perhaps they have already been widowed or divorced and they have often learned what is worth fighting about for them. The ability to know what is important and what is not allows relationships to be smooth, peaceful and happy.
10. Carpe Diem is Your Motto: When you are older and your kids are grown, you may be more willing to take risks. You probably want to travel, take classes, try new things and love in a way you never have before. You want every day to count because you don’t want to look back on the rest of your life with regret. So, you are inspiring to be around.
So, do not let a number like age stop you from getting out there and embracing love. Count your many blessings (as I just did) and recognize that you could make another person very happy if you got back out there.
My Best in love,
Paulette
www.mydatingschool.com
Author of ‘Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ published by Atria Books.
Author Bio:
Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist and author of ‘Dating From the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ published by Atria Books. She’s also the Director of My Dating School in NYC (http://www.mydatingschool.com ) which offers coaching and classes in transforming dating issues to attract love. She was a monthly speaker at The Learning Annex for over two years and writes a blog as the NY Love Examiner. Dr. Sherman is an expert on television shows such as the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and was a guest on radio shows such as the Curtis Sliwa show on 77WABC. She has been quoted as a relationship expert in MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, True Story, Seventeen and Complete Woman’ magazines, and the NY Times.