7 Ways to Create Simplicity & Spirituality in Your Relationship (during the recession)
Wednesday, May 13th, 2009I just finished reading a great book called, ‘The Circle of Simplicity’ by Cecile Andrews. Her philosophy inspired me so I am applying a few of the categories that she mentions in her book to my specialty: our relationships. I would highly suggest getting her book about making life simple and getting to the essence of things (particularly in these times)!
Dating is often associated with wining and dining (or otherwise impressing) a partner. The truth is that when we are focused on the flashy outer things (whether it’s his car or the fancy restaurant, we are less observant of the inner things like how we feel with our date, their character, interests, intelligence and soulful qualities. It is in stillness and simplicity that these aspects stand out. My book, ‘Dating from the Inside Out’ explores how to learn about your date (and yourself) on a soul level. But today I am going to suggest some ways to date (if married, your spouse; if single, your date) without breaking the bank, needing to plan a lot or impress. Many of these ideas would be tried after you’ve known someone for awhile.
Here are 7 ideas to encourage simplicity in relationships:
1. Sleep: Take a nap together in the park on a blanket or (if you know the person well) in bed. ½ of adults do not sleep enough and this affects our emotional and physical health, as well as our concentration. You will be doing each other a service- it will be relaxing and intimate, plus, it’s free!
2. Be in Nature: Take a hike together, go camping and meet up early to see the sun rise or take a walk with a big umbrella in the rain.
3. Community: Get to know the people you each care about and you’ll quadruple your fun and learning. Often singles are afraid to introduce their dates to friends too soon but if it’s been a month and they don’t mind, why not? They are going to meet them anyway! You can have a potluck so it’s not expensive and this takes care of community, food and entertainment.
4. Cook together: So much money is wasted eating out and it’s not as healthy or fun. Shopping and cooking together is intimate. You create something together and learn what the other likes.
5. Read together or go to a free lecture: Nothing stimulates a relationship like growing and inspiring one another. Get some books at the library and read together on the beach or at a park. You can even read the same book and discuss it. You’ll learn a lot about each other like this, and it’s free! You can also share a free concert or lecture and share reactions.
6. Declutter: A great way to simplify is to free up space and donate things you no longer need or use. Put on some music and go through your books or photos together. You can also go through clothes. Create a pile of things to toss, give away or donate. Your space will feel great and you will both feel generous giving to someone who can use these things. You will also learn something new about your partner by hearing stories about the pictures or objects.
7. Stop Doing Automatic Time Fillers: Notice if you watch television together a lot and try to do something new like taking a walk or going biking. If you shop a lot for clothes or other items together, try to lessen this (Americans average 6 hours of shopping a week) and do something else that is more spiritual and less materialistic. Can you go through what you do have to find something that will serve that need or desire?
I hope you enjoy these ideas. If you try one with your partner, let me know how it went.
My Best in Love,
Paulette
Bio:
Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman is a licensed psychologist and author of ‘Dating From the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart’ published by Atria Books. She’s the Director of http://www.mydatingschool.com which offers coaching and classes in dating issues. She was a speaker at The Learning Annex for over two years and an expert on television shows such as the CBS Early Show & the AM Northwest Early Show and radio shows like ‘the Curtis Sliwa show’ on 77WABC. She has been quoted as a relationship expert in MSN.com, USA Weekend, the NY Post, Newsweek, Lifetime.com, More, Match.com, Foxnews.com, Reader’s Digest, Redbook, Glamour, ‘Seventeen, Complete Woman’ magazine and the NY Times.
IF YOU’D LIKE TO ASK ME A QUESTION ABOUT DATING, LOVE OR MARRIAGE, EMAIL ME AT kpaulet@verizon.net. I WILL TRY TO ANSWER YOU (anonymously) IN A COLUMN. THANKS!
Related Links
Loading ...
